You see, we were chatting last night about some things, anxiety can overwhelm both of us. And I realized that maybe the empty feeling I've had is because I have truly spent the last, oh, probably 9-ish months doing other things, knowing that I lost my precious summer days and didn't allow any time to do the things that keep me sane. I didn't stock pile any sunshine for the winter. I didn't write anything for that novel. I fished, twice. That is SAD.
Why do we do that? Is it just another thing that happens in life? Maybe some of our "people" are there to gently remind us of who we are, deep down. Not who we were, or who we are working towards, but WHO our CORE is. Because the core stays pretty much the same, only shifting slightly as we embrace a life of spirituality and flow. I mean, I've always been the same hard-headed, hot-tempered, gypsy that I am now, it's just, well...maybe more handled. *insert smiley face* Tame, maybe? Either way.
So this week people have been insanely worked up about Starbuck's cups, Jesus haters, Liberals, and the fact that Ben Carson believes that Joseph built the pyramids to store grain...um...what?
I've seen memes making fun, I've seen memes that were angry, and I've seen memes that made me laugh so hard I cried. To be honest, maybe we all just hate each other?? Come on, this one is just ridiculous and funny.
All of a sudden people are spitting up foster care and adoption memes at the speed of light. There are statistics and articles and maps. We've got homeless people, animal shelters, and churches that all need something. Everyone has a soapbox, and everyone is using it. We're all guilty at some point or another, especially in the last year.
All of this can be overwhelming. By the time I actually log on to the measly well pruned Facebook account that I have now, I'm exhausted. I'm guilty of reading click bait, although I really try not to. I'm not offended easily. My sense of humor rocks most of the time, even M gets a pretty good chuckle at the obscenities that I mutter. Anyways, rambling, I log on, I'm tired. We are all tired.
You don't have to run down to the shelter and bring home 26491894646465 kittens. Love your cat, and your friends cat. You don't have to feel badly that you cannot take any more mouths in to your home to feed, or that there is not enough room to add foster children to your family. It's okay when the thought of that makes you anxious because you are not licensed to deal with some of the emotions and trials that come along with it. Love your children. Love your friends children. It will be okay if you drop change in the red Salvation Army buckets, or you take gifts to a local church for a Christmas Dinner & Gift event for qualifying families. My God, just DO WHAT YOU CAN DO. The more of those little things you do for those close to you, or in your circle or community the more it adds up. If you only have a few hours of volunteer time this season, that IS OKAY. If you are raising small children, or your dog just had a litter of unexpected puppies, or you're fretting that you might have to stretch holiday dollars a little more than last year....
IT IS OKAY.
Isn't there a time when we all should stop and just really turn down all of the bullshit noise that we are bombarded with on a daily basis? Did we lose the capability to truly be able to filter what is important and what matters? How many people will read this and then run off at 5 o'clock on Thanksgiving Day to SHOP. Then log on that night and complain about society's issues?
We are at a point where we are constantly trading one evil for another. And believe me, no one is sitting in a seat of perfection. We all go through hypocritical moments. But when we honestly try and see the relative and collective good and we feed it, that is when that tiny snowball turns in to a huge avalanche. And it should be that way year round.
We tend to focus on the bad, or what we can improve constantly. Whether it's our physical appearance (the vanity side, not the health side), clothing, vehicles and homes, even philanthropy has been tainted with corrupt and selfish ways. In my conversation last night, I realized that somewhere over the summer I lost a little bit of my focus because we were dealing with a few negative people and some moments that contributed to me working nonstop and shifting focus outside of myself as opposed to inside.
So thank you, Kess. Thanks for kicking me in the ass last night and reminding me that I am, in fact, in charge of the pen writing my very own story.
You and I are blessed my friend. We are blessed with incredible and amazing children, lovers and friends in our life that matter. And we both need to re-focus and turn our attention to our hearts and feed them once again.
*waves at Jamie*
*hands Kess the pen*
Sending you both lots and lots of love from our crazy home to yours!
Mom, author, pretend photographer, boutique owner.