January 24, 2015

Gypsy Souls

When I stood on the edge, 
all I could see was the bottom.
That's when I decided to, 
only look forward or above.
Because then all I could see,
was the glorious infinity. 

Tiffany Luv Wright 
2015

Allowing a piece of yourself to be scrutinized by the world is difficult.






I've been self published up until now, always needing the help with marketing and editing because time was not a luxury I could afford.  Now I am moving into an entirely different playing field.  I am allowing others help control and market and push my writing.  It's out of my Leo comfort zone, oddly enough, but I move forward because I trust these two with my life and this is literally my livelihood in the palm of their hands.


I didn't even realize that insecurity in regards to artistic creation probably feels a bit like suffocation.  You have to truly look at yourself and see what others are going to see.  You have to be ready for the moment.  And all I can hear in my head ironically enough, are lyrics to the Eminem song.  That I am going to vomit and end up choking.  I feel like I'm in line for a roller coaster.  Like I need to throw up and like I can't breathe.  And yet I still move forward.  I don't know why or how, unless it's that voice...

That teeny tiny voice.  One that keeps pushing you to stand up and take credit for creating something that others might enjoy and understand.  There is something that humbles you when you realize that people are watching.  Every single move.  That they are listening to what you are saying.  That they want to even listen.

I've had messages pouring in the last few days, a few people just now getting around to reading some important stories that I wrote, and I am grateful for those tiny pushes that I receive.  Because without them I might not keep writing.  I write for myself as an outlet and yet I write for others to enjoy a story.  Because I love the story.  I will always love the story.

A conversation with Dani led to me acknowledging that we are dreamers or gypsy souls trapped in a world that is so narcissistic and vapid at times.  We live in a world that can be superficial.  Vows are taken, promises made...some are taken for granted.  We were talking about love and unconditional love and what I realized is that while I love others unconditionally sometimes I don't expect the same from them.  I suppose we all do it.  But, I asked Dani a very important question, "there has to be a place for us (dreamers), right?"
She says there has to be.  And I need to allow her to encourage me to hang on to that hope.

When you go to bed tonight, and then when you wake up in the morning...whisper "thank you".  Even if you aren't sure what you are thankful for, or it's just the fact that you woke up, say "thank you".  It's a practice I started years ago, to live in gratitude and remind myself that the small things do matter.
Keep writing, keep recording, keep drawing, because it does matter.  And always,

Live, love

Tiffany Luv Wright
www.thehivepublications.com
"One" Paul Smit & Adriana Story Hill
@tiffluv78 on Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.  #follow #listening #sia



January 22, 2015

Irony

she stood and let the sand fall from her hands,
slowly, grain by tiny grain,
it slid through her palms to fall back home again.

the wind was furious,
the waves angry,
reminding her the turmoil inside,
cut like a sharp blade.

the clouds sped by and,
the lightning in the distance grew close,
there was no more,
calm before the storm.

the storm, was already here.


Holding your breath is hard.  It's keeps your body from getting the oxygen it needs and it makes the clock tick seemingly louder.  Yet, so many of us do it.  I love change and yet I cringe at the very thought.  But I guess the momentum of change cannot be stopped when it is inevitable.  
I've been working so hard lately on so many things that I feel scatter brained.  Not centered at all, and yet my focus has been good.  Irony at its best, I suppose.  A total contradiction.  
I am only about two weeks away from a major book release.  It sends my nerves in to overdrive and my stomach churns into knots every single day when my feet hit the floor.  
Between the family and working on all of this it is time for much needed rest and yet I push even harder.  Pushing against the grain of society is almost consuming with self doubt.  
It's difficult to hold on to the rainbow, as I know so many of you understand.  But it's why we do what we do, as artists, writers, and musicians. We just keep pushing and driving on because the end is in sight.  But there truly is no end for us, is there?  
Even after we release, we keep going, we keep searching to go deeper and deeper into a trade that binds us to itself.  
I fumble through short stories in my head, type in the middle of the night on my Iphone and scribble words that get lost on tiny pieces of paper that are strewn about my home.  

I have dishes in the sink, laundry in a pile, and floors that probably need attention.  
And yet, I sit here writing more and more.  I work towards something that I have to see through.  It's something I have held on to for so many years.  I want and need to see my words bonded in paper and ink.  
It isn't easy to go after what you want, and yet it is.  Another contradiction.  What isn't easy is the underlying self doubt as we fumble through the social expectations that have been put upon our shoulders as tax paying citizens.  And yet, where would the world be without the stories?  Without the pictures and music?  Without art?  
Irony.  
Again. 
#listening #hozier #takemetochurch 
 

Always living through my heart. 
Live, love.  
Tiffany Luv Wright 2015 
#livelove #twitter @tiffluv78 @TheHivePublishr
Join us at The Hive Publications to learn more about publishing your work.  
"One"
#hivemind  
All lyrics, poetry, excerpts and blog posts are sole ownership of The Hive Publications.  Paul Smit "One" Legacy Works, Inc. 






January 19, 2015

Some things.

Some things always surprise me.  Just little things, you know, that seem to resonate with people on a whim.

I posted this picture on my Twitter a long time ago, and months later I still get mentions in regards to it.  I love Taylor Swift, and always hope that Erica finds a role model that is a strong female presence.
The discussion on Twitter lead to me admitting this is how I am attempting to raise my kids.  To embrace their unique qualities because in this society so much emphasis is put on compliance and almost behaving robotic.  Follow the trends, follow the style, don't say anything that is different, and for heaven's sake...don't color out side of the lines.  
When I was a young mother I wanted to be like the Joneses.  Perfect kids.  Perfect marriage.  Perfect life.  It wasn't until I hit my thirties that I started to really appreciate the fact that me and the children were unique, and were very capable of living so.  That is sad, but I would say that is fairly normal as I stand back and watch younger families now try and keep up.  They attempt that reach for perfection.  Social media feeds the beast.  Everything needs to be "Fakebook" perfect, even when someone is screaming inside.  
At what point do we just sit back and realize that it isn't really necessary to conform all of the time, and that some of the greatest achievements in this world have been accomplished by those who were very unique.  That some of those people came from backgrounds that were not the social norm, and far from perfect. That is where some of the most ambitious people are born from.  
There isn't much I am afraid of anymore, BUT conforming.  And then when I find myself in a situation where we are living my dream, I end up in self doubt because of a society that doesn't want individuals any longer.  Always be careful of your judgement of another's way of life.  
Funny, the irony that comes along with living the life we are living.  
Just another chapter to push through.  
Just another story that has yet to be finished.  

I am blessed with amazing kids who push me, an amazing partner who I fall in love with daily, and amazing surroundings which allow me the luxury to live a unique life and wade through self doubt.  And I get to write about it. 
#amwriting   


Live, love

Tiffany Luv Wright 
www.thehivepublications.com 
Follow me on Facebook. Or hit me up on Twitter.
We are now accepting submissions for 2015 here in the hive.  
#hivemind 
#livelove 
Hashtag #hivemind to find us.  



January 9, 2015

The Other Side Of The Story~A Short Story

 A Short Story by Tiffany Luv Wright Copyright 2015 The Hive Publications 

He could hear her heels clicking across the house floors as she moved from room to room getting ready.  It was a sound he had grown used to.  The kids were at the sitter.  They didn't get many nights out these days.
She had been excited when her old friend had called them up and asked to go out to dinner.  Liam didn't realize who it even was.  She told him their families had grown up together and it had been years since she had seen him.  They communicated by email and social media, and an occasional text now and then.  His name, was Tommy.  And he lived in California now.

Why did it bother him so much?  He shifted uncomfortably in his chair while he waited for her to be ready.  Was it the way her eyes lit up when she said his name?  Was it the history that he only had minimal details on?  He just wasn't sure.  She had cemented the fact that they had only been friends over the years.

Gracie came around the corner.

"Are you ready?" she said with a smile.  He turned to look at her.  Sometimes in moments like these, she still took his breath away.  Even three years later.  He didn't believe that there was any truth in only staying in love for the two year myth.  He just couldn't imagine not being in love with her.  He should probably tell her that more often.   He smiled back.  Gracie moving in had been a pivotal moment in his life, he had been dead inside before she came along.

"Yep, if you are." he rose and walked to the coat closet and pulled his coat out.  He turned to hand her her own coat.  She smelled incredible.

"You look nice, babe." was all he could say.  The truth was, she looked more than nice.  The black dress clung to her body and the heels that she always complained about complimented her long legs.

"Thanks." she replied as she smiled at him, looking him  in his eyes.

The car drive was normal.  Music.  Occasional conversation about their day or their plans for the next one.

They arrived at the restaurant and waited for her friend to arrive after they put their names on the list for a table.  It was a new place she had wanted to try and Tommy had agreed they should, if she wanted to. Of course Tommy agreed with her.


The doors to the restaurant opened and a cold breeze followed the patron coming through the door.

Liam recognized him right away from the picture she had shown him.  He was almost six foot tall.  He was handsome and well dressed.  The laugh lines on the corners of his eyes gave away his age.

Gracie rose with a huge smile that lit up the entryway and Liam could feel his nerves.

Tommy smiled at Gracie with a huge, friendly smile and pulled her in to his arms in a tight squeeze.  He picked her up a little and said "It is so good to see you!" He put her down and took a step back.  "God, you look great." Gracie smiled at him and turned to Liam.

"Liam, this is Tommy."  Liam stuck out his hand to shake Tommy's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Liam."  Tommy said.

"It's nice to meet you too, Gracie speaks well about you."  Liam tried to fake a smile, but he was nervous inside.  What was making him so nervous?

"Your table is ready." the waitress said to the group with a smile.  "Follow me."

The three followed her to the center of the restaurant.  It was busy and loud.

"Can we get a booth?" Tommy asked, winking at Gracie.

He beat me to it, thought Liam. Gracie hated sitting in the center of the room.

"Um, sure..." the waitress turned to look around, finally spotting an empty booth and the three followed her across the room and took their seats.

The two chattered quickly and Gracie asked about Tommy's family right away sending the two in to a deep conversation that Liam only added small snippets and questions to.

Gracie's phone rang and she looked down at it with a frown.

"Work?" Liam asked.

"Yeah, I have to take it, sorry babe...you guys chat and I will be right back.  I have to use the ladies room too."  she kissed Liam's cheek softly.  "Can you let me out?" she smiled.  Her cheeks were pink from the white wine she was sipping.


Liam rose and let Gracie move out of the booth.

The two men watched her walk over towards a quiet corner by the bar where she answered the call.

They also watched several patrons watch her as she walked away.

Tommy took a sip of his bourbon and turned to Liam.

Liam waited for Tommy to speak.  Could he tell Liam was jealous?

"You know I am married, right?" Tommy asked Liam.  Tommy was bold with his question.  Liam shifted a little bit in his seat.  He nodded back at Tommy.

Tommy nodded towards Gracie who was busily chatting away, no doubt solving a problem at work that they needed her for.

"I've known Gracie for a long time.  Our families go way back."  Tommy said quietly.  He raised his eyebrow at Liam and spoke again.  "You love her?" Tommy waited for Liam to respond.

Liam shifted in his seat.  He looked at Tommy in his eyes.  "Yes."  He took a sip of his drink and ran his finger around the rim of the glass.  "I do."

"She still doesn't have a ring on her finger."  Tommy said, staring across the table at Liam.  "You realize a woman like her only comes along once in a lifetime."  Was he challenging Liam?

Liam nodded again.  "I do."  What did Tommy want from him?

Tommy sighed.  "She's been through more than you and I ever will go through.  Look at her. Do  you ever notice how people watch her move?  As soon as she comes through a door, they watch her, it's like they can't help themselves.  I hope you love her enough."  he smiled a bit at Liam and the laugh lines crinkled in the corners of his eyes.

Liam sat silent for a few moments.  He looked over at Gracie.  She was talking fast and her face was flustered, but she could still smile through it.  She was complicated and passive aggressive at times.  She laughed loud and sometimes giggled like a little girl.  She was smart and funny, beautiful and yet simple.  She had a temper that was sometimes uncontrollable and yet she had a way with people that was calm and loving.  She was fire, and he was ice.  Total opposites.  His heart swelled suddenly.  He remembered the first time he took her out.  He knew it was different then, but he had fought it.   He had been a bachelor for so long that it was an adjustment.  Not too mention the hurt from his first marriage at that time, was still a sting he could feel.   But Gracie had changed the game.  She didn't have a ring, because he was scared.  He had the ring, he just couldn't find the time or get past the fear to give it to her.

Liam looked across the table at Tommy.  He was lost in thought staring across the room at Gracie.  He cleared his throat.

Tommy turned and looked at him.

"She loves me because I tell her what she is.  Because I see her for WHO she is. And I love her because there won't be another one like her in my life."  Tommy said boldly.  "But she loves you more. Do you understand?"  he smiled at Liam and sipped the bourbon.  "She's tired.  I won't tell you anymore because you already know." he shifted and sat back in his seat, still staring at Liam. "A woman like her...she needs to know, she's strong.  Maybe even stronger without men like us holding her back."

Liam shook his head, agreeing with Tommy.

"You need to tell her.  Believe me, you need to show her and tell her. She needs to hear it, because her self doubt is louder than you would think.   Don't let her get away."  Tommy said.

Gracie was heading back to the table now.

A memory bled through in Liam's mind.  It was late winter last year.  Gracie was in a worn out tee shirt and pajama pants.  He had pulled her in to his arms in the kitchen and they danced to no music at all.  He wanted to tell her to marry him then, and he let the moment pass.

Gracie was at the table.  Smiling at both of them.  Maybe she could feel the tension.

Liam rose and allowed her to scoot in beside him.  He smiled at her.  But when he looked at her it was like the first time he ever looked in to her eyes.

He could tell that Gracie could feel it, because momentarily she was breathless.

She blushed and scooted closer to Liam.

All Liam could think of were Tommy's words.

"But she loves you more."

The End

Live, love.

Tiffany





January 8, 2015

January 8th, 2015 Oh, the irony.

I finished the witch series today.  It's taken me almost two and a half months to do.  A few final edits and add ins and it will be complete and off to the publisher.

I struggled with it.  I struggled with having the luxury of being able to stay at home finally and finish what I started.  All of the tiny choices and the paths that I have taken ended up here.  They were silently nudging me along the way to finally complete it.  Of course there were little angels guiding me and shoving me step by step while I was kicking and screaming.  But I am grateful for that.





There have been so many changes this year, and I think that I fought every single one of them.  Isn't it funny how we can be our own demon? That was another hard pill to swallow.  I have written about change so much and not fighting it that in the last three weeks I had to literally sit down and read back over my own work. I had to remind myself where I started and why I even started it all to begin with.  Even the dreamers have self doubt.  Even those of us who seem to be standing on solid ground can feel our knees quivering when we have to live by our own words, because sometimes it is scary.

I wouldn't have made it without a few key individuals, and they know who they are.

"M" used some words as we were falling asleep the other night that have been resounding in my head ever since.  "I believe in you."

Those words hold so much power and yet some of us don't use them very often at all.  Is it because it gives the other person power, or is it because they are hard to say because some people won't hear them.  I had to stop and listen to it over and over in my head, and I have to accept it.  I have to accept that there are people here that believe in me right now.

In the coming weeks, everything is going to change again.  I can feel it.  And I suppose, that I am finally...ready.

Find someone who believes in you.  Hold on to them, Because if they say it out loud while looking you dead in the eyes.  That, my friend, is a keeper.

Live, love.

Tiffany


.Live, love.

.Live, love.