June 30, 2014

Everyone's Watching...

June 30th, 2014

All poetry, lyrics and novel excerpts are sole property of Tiffany Luv Wright and The Hive Publications.


Monday

I had a very human moment this afternoon.

I've spent the last week or so in observation of not only myself and my responses to those around me, but watching others and how they behave when everyone is watching.  I guess at times we all have a tendency to put on a face.  I try really hard not to.  I mean, I get it, there are moments when you have to, it's just the way we roll as a society.

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.


On the way home from work I stopped at my usual gas station.  And before I get too far in to the story, I only share it because I know that everyone has a conscious and intuition, it's whether or not we use it.  Anyway, I was in line to pay for my gas when a lady wandered in to the station and asked if it was okay if she had some ice for her cup.  Of course the attendant said yes and she proceeded to fill her cup and then stopped and asked if I were heading towards Wal-Mart.  I said no.

Ouch.

I immediately felt the sting of my moral compass.  It was lightening fast, and in a moments decision I ran out the door and stopped her in the parking lot and asked her if she needed a ride.  She did.

It's a heat index of 102 degrees here, today.  And I almost let her walk more than a mile and a half in the heat of the day to work.  All she needed was a ride.  And the truth be told, in this society she had just as much of a reason to be afraid of me being crazy as I was of her being crazy.

She wasn't.  

Sometimes we make decisions when no one is looking.  Wrong or right, we do it out of greed, or selfishness. And on the other end of the spectrum we also do it for love of our fellow man, and respect.

There is something to be said about being led by a moral compass.  It took me a long time to accept the fact that I am a bleeding heart ( or as "M" calls me, his Tender-heart Bear ) and I need to be okay with that.  I almost let the awful news and fear that is instilled in to our hearts daily, turn down someone who needed simple help.

IT MATTERS WHAT YOU DO WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING.  

Some people will argue against that all day, and everyday.








When I take photographs I like to get the shots when  no one is looking at the camera.  When the kids are oblivious, or my friends are oblivious to the memory being recorded because those tiny and small moments add up.

I can't change the core of who I am.  I guess I'll always feel badly and drop a $1 or what I might have in to the "bum's" hand at the corner, but I suppose it's better than being hateful and cursing him, because after all, we never know why or how someone ended up in a situation.  Maybe that is why I'll never be rich.  Maybe that is why I will never have a multi-million dollar home or an expensive vehicle.  I don't really know.  But I do know that "good" is good for the soul.

A few different thoughts crossed my mind on my way home this evening, after watching those I work with (at my real job) work through the hustle and bustle of our CEO arriving this afternoon.  Red carpets.  Press.  The who's who in a small entertainment town...the thought was that I've worked so hard on myself and arriving at a simpler and more fulfilling life that I wouldn't change it for one bit. I didn't want to stay, I wanted to rush home and be with my family.  A cold beer under the pergola, the sound of the kids bickering over nothing...my little dog greeting me with absolutely no expectations other than a simple brush across her head.


I love the dynamics of simple verses complicated.  I love the balance it takes for us to co-exist.  Every person and every piece is important.  And I recognize that.  What I wish is that everyone recognized the balance at the end of each day.  That every single person you come across is important, for whatever reason, in whatever moment.  Whether it is a lesson in patience, a lesson in philanthropy, or a lesson in anger, sadness...all of the emotions we run through as human beings.




I haven't had much time to write the last few months.  I am trying desperately to keep up with The Hive and here on the blog, no promises, but looking at a weekly schedule at this point.  Real life has seemingly taken on full speed and I don't see it slowing down.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.



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Live, love.

















Tiffany

#listening #youtube #blakeshelton #whoareyou

Sometimes I think too much
and talk too loud...
Or is it talk too much and 
think too loud...
The rush of emotions can 
be unbearable...
And knock me off of my feet
My heart races...
and my soul is open
The enormous weight I carry...
of love
Is light as a feather...
and yet it takes all I have
To hold on...
i have to hold on
The self doubt is putrid...
and the insecurity a vice
The feelings come out...
in a jumbled mess
And I am still left...
with the fragments
That need sorted. 

2014

June 19, 2014

Perfect

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.








JUNE 2014


We've had a lot going on lately around our house.  Usually once the weather warms up and the kids get out of school it's literally "go, go, go".  Lake, playing outside, errands, work, daycare, and making more of an attempt to spend time together outside is on my list for summertime.  The warm weather is almost certainly what drives me year round.  I appreciate the cold months, because with summer now being my favorite season, it helps me to remember that the cold and darker times do not last forever.  There will always be sunshine after the planet takes its time to cater to her darker mood called winter.





"The non permanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of summer and winter seasons."
Bhagavad Gita quotes  


phi·lan·thro·py
  [fi-lan-thruh-pee]  
noun, plural phi·lan·thro·pies.
1.
altruistic concern for human welfare and advancement, usually manifested by donations of money,property, or work to needy persons, by endowment of institutions of learning and hospitals, and bygenerosity to other socially useful purposes.
2.
the activity of donating to such persons or purposes in this way: to devote one's later years tophilanthropy.
3.
a particular act, form, or instance of this activity: The art museum was their favorite philanthropy.
4.
an organization devoted to helping needy persons or to other socially useful purposes.
Origin: 
1600–10;  earlier philanthropia  < Late Latin  < Greek philanthrōpía  love for mankind.

The recent passing of one of my favorite poets, Maya Angelou, has had me in a frenzy reading her work.  Her thought process when dealing with life is similar to mine and sometimes I find it fascinating when I think of the fact that she too, had insecurity.  And she wrote about it.  She wrote about it for everyone, but she focused on female relationships, love and philanthropy.  She wrote about the dark times and the lighter ones.  She was an incredible role model.  A writer or poet only reaches personal success when they allow them-self to write about ALL of life.  The deep and dark things, the passion, the human error, and the imperfect perfection that mankind is.  That is what catapults us on to another level of consciousness, is when you can bear your soul for the world to read, and be okay with the fact that you are absolutely standing in the center of the room naked.

vul·ner·a·ble

  [vuhl-ner-uh-buhl]  
adjective
1.
capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2.
open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerableto bribery.
3.
(of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge.

We were talking about perfection this week.  The girls and I that is, after seeing a Facebook post that made us all cringe.  Cringe in insecurity with our own bodies, and cringe for the fact that this person had no awareness of the inappropriate nature of the picture.  I was thinking yesterday about all of my closest girlfriends.  They are all different shapes, sizes, colors, and personalities.  I couldn't imagine it any other way.  I think they are amazing.  Beautiful.  Gorgeous.  And yet when I look at my own image in the mirror I struggle with the stretch marks and the issues I think I have with my own body or personality, or whatever the daily insecurity might be.  Is it that way for everyone?  I wonder about that often.  Do we all get up and literally compare ourselves to others and stare in the mirror with momentary disgust.  Sometimes I wish I could trade places with them, just so they could see how amazing they are in my eyes.  Even though the hypocrisy is that I will continue to pick myself apart, I don't want them to do it.  Funny, huh? We need to learn to accept ourselves, and as women learn to lift one another up instead of tearing one another down.  Everyone faces hard times, I think sometimes we forget that.  You step out of the darkness in to the light, and sometimes have to step back to remember to live with compassion and empathy, to understand that we all face those insecure moments.

My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.

I needed to sit down and write all week.  I just haven't had the time.  I started a new book months ago and it's just been collecting dust.  I was contemplating posting a chapter of it here.  And then I decided against it, the thought of it being copied by someone else was too much.  Maybe the feedback would encourage me to sit down and open up my imagination once again, but losing this project would kill me.
So I will share some poetry this week. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!  And as always connect with me here, and on Facebook in two different locations.
I would love to see some of your summer memories this far in to the season!  You can send them to me via email tiffanyluvwright@gmail.com. Send us your summer memories and stories by July 15th and we will compile them in to a grand display for the blog.
Please keep in mind that if you share and add the back story from the photo we will use them here on the blog for others to see.  So be particular and aware of the amount of traffic we see.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.


The Hive Publications and my fan page.

We look forward to connecting with you.

p.s. Looking forward to celebrating a 1 year anniversary with this handsome guy!  ------------->---------> Living proof that hope and faith, and serendipity truly do exist.

ser·en·dip·i·ty


: luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for

Live, love
Always. 

Tiffany

When he held her as they slept,
their breathing slowly crept,
to a rhythmic union. 

He finally understood,
why the tide came to hold the shore, 
morning after morning. 

And night after night.  

copyright 2014 Tiffany Luv Wright







June 4, 2014

Blurred Images

I sat down to write again this morning, and hours later I am just now getting my thoughts out on "paper".

I thought about a lot of things today.  I tend to save pictures digitally in several places that way if an image disappears I have it in another location.  Pictures have always been important to me.  There are very very few material things that matter to me, but my pictures...they are so important to me that I have most of them in a trunk right by the front door so if there ever were a fire I could drag my trunk out the door and at least make a feeble attempt to save the images.

It occurred to me today that some of the most important images are those that are blurred.  I seem to recall the moments in more detail than the pictures that are professionally done, either from me being in front of the camera or the clear ones we as a family had done by others.  The motion pictures, the pictures taken that are blurry because I was probably laughing uncontrollably  to steady the camera, or the ones my kids have taken are the most important.   I captured moments that were so important to me that my brain has processed them and when I see the blurred images the memory is clear, not a detail is missed right down to the smells and being able to feel the air. The photographed moments that are special to me mean nothing to some, but the best part is that they mean everything to those who are important in my life.

The last time I wrote, I labeled my everyday gratitude as an epic fail, but really, it was only an epic fail because I wasn't "writing" about it.  I've been busy living it.

The images collected over the last two years of my life are some of the most important images I have.  They tell a story.   Behind the smiles and laughter there was great struggle, tears, pain, and judgement.  But there was also gratitude.  There were memories that are so profound I'm not even sure the greatest of writers or philosophers could manipulate words to describe them.

This week I also thought about the people in my life, and the ones who left by choice when I made the decisions I made in September of 2012.  I thought about a conversation I had with someone a couple of weeks ago, a conversation that should have taken place without me in it.  I thought about the kinds of people who only do the right thing when someone is watching.  For glory, for praise.  And I am so glad that there are very few of those people left in my life.  A lot of the pictures I hold dear are collected images of the people who do the right thing when no one is looking.  They do it for their own moral compass.  Those are the kinds of people that make a difference in someone's life.

We do not get very much time in our physical bodies.  It's a tough fact to face, but one that needs to be faced nonetheless.  Life is too short for petty disagreements and selfishness.  It is to short for gossip and vindictive actions.  Maybe that is why the last few months I have almost been reclusive, engaging with only the closest of the close.  

I've been attempting to compile my blog posts, attempting to write something for others who have gone through similar trials like divorce, abuse, and death.  I start it and then have to put it away until I have the courage to go back over my own words.  But here, here on my blog, the poetry and stories seem to flow effortlessly.  Maybe it is because there is no expectation.  There is no financial reward for the words or messages.  I am not sure, but what I am sure about, is that I can't stop writing.  Whether or not it puts food on the table, it is who I am.  It does make a difference.

Take your blurred images and make them important.  Take your craft, your talent, your calling and make it important.  Don't count months or days, count minutes.  Count seconds.  Make every single one count.  Live in abundance with what you already have.  There is a blessing in everything that happens to you.  It is truly our reaction that makes the difference.  Maybe you too will find that when you start living with gratitude, your memories start to matter more, they almost flow effortlessly.  There is a connection with being thankful for who and what you have to what you will receive in the future.  Because when you are rich now, you will be rich then.  Prioritize exactly what it is that you want.  PRIORITIZE EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE NOW.  Start collecting your own blurred images.  Focus on capturing the moment, let go of the materialistic chains, and breath deeper.

I guess it's "hippy", or "weird" "or "too emotional" (I get called that a lot!)...but to be honest, I'd rather be holding a handful of blurred images then a handful of picture perfect happiness that is fake.   And you can bet your life savings on that.

I thought it would be nice if I shared said images on this week's "come back" post.   These are some of the most important images I own right now.   They are all in line, waiting to be printed out in to another book for my family to look through, and although the images aren't really clear, I know that those in them remember those moments with as much clarity as I do.

It's good to be back.  

Live, love.  

Tiffany 





















.Live, love.

.Live, love.