"Close your eyes. Fall in love. Stay there." Rumi
Summer are busy in our home, and this summer, has seemed to be especially so since I am back to the "real job" full time.
A lot has happened. A lot has changed. Sometimes when we take a look back at the road we've traveled there is a sense of accomplishment. Maybe regret, although, I do not live in regret. A decision made, is simply that, for me. There will be love and loss, lightness and darkness, sometimes you find you are the teacher and the student. You learn that sometimes, the past was forming the future unbeknownst to you, and yet, you STILL cannot control it. I believe in fate, though, others may not. Of course that ties back to the tiny, invisible threads that bind us to others. Fate, hope, & love are all deeply connected. Sometimes unconsciously we are planting seeds for tomorrow, and we don't realize it until the apple falls from the tree.
Maybe some people are in a constant state of arrested development. They will never utilize their mistakes or accomplishments as lessons. Maybe they will continue to only hear what they want to hear, as opposed to hearing and seeing the truth.
My feelings on such topics don't truly have too much of an impact on those I am close to. And they shouldn't. Because they are my lessons and accomplishments to live by.
I'm not sure I've ever been so spiritually healthy and happy in my entire adult life. Struggle and the everyday life is hard, sure, but deep down, I am happy. I am happy with who I am, and who I have become. Momentary struggles with insecurity tend to peek through ever so often. Human nature tends to remind us we are just that, human.
Though that all sounds strange, because the core of me hasn't change, I suppose it makes sense because the superficial person that I tried to be, is gone. There are very few guards left to take down. There is no more anger or resentment. There is no longer a need to protect myself from love, or life. There is no reason to allow the tiny tendencies to control every single aspect, take over.
It is simply surrender.
One day you simply surrender. You start to see people for who they are. You stop worrying who, what, why and where. And you learn to live the journey instead of trying to predict the future. It is like tending to a garden, sure the end result is what you are ultimately after, but if you forget or rush through steps during the growth process, you are left with nothing. Or worse, scarred and tiny fruits of labor that will not sustain you in the hard times.
The difficult all of a sudden becomes easy and manageable, understanding that it will pass. The things you can't control, you no longer control. When you start to drop the weight of the stigmas attached to what is considered the "dream", you find yourself living it.
There is something to be felt deeply with surrender. It's simply and complicated all at once. When you choose to let love in, everything changes.
You no longer feel the need to rush people, or be rude. You choose to smile instead of frown. You stop judging others on the notion that truly, we do not know how something is unfolding behind closed doors. And the moment you choose to judge, the very near future will provide you with a lesson in karma. You learn to trust and you learn to open up. There are no more hidden agendas or hidden feelings. You just accept what your heart feels, you learn to mix it in with logic, and you start living.
You will look down and see how far down the path you have ventured. You will stop and take a deep breath and see those who surround you, and while everything has changed, your core remained the same. You won't shy away from communication, understanding, and kindness. You embrace it. It's a blossoming of sorts, unless of course you choose to remain in arrested development.
There really isn't anything more simple than love. All forms, all avenues. A good friend of mine says his religion is "love". I think I've wrote about that before. I've always, always loved that.
It isn't an easy process at first. But in the end, it will be worth it.
All poetry, lyrics, short stories, novel excerpts and watermarked photography for Broken & Bent is the sole ownership of Tiffany Luv Wright 2013
When the wind grazed my neck with its fingertips,
I thought I heard you calling,
When I closed my eyes I realized,
I didn't hear you calling at all.
I stopped as the breeze gently kissed my skin,
And I stood there for a moment lost in time,
Adjusting to the changing pace and touch,
Soon I was lost.
My heart beat with the soft quickening of the wind,
My eyes fluttered closed at the thought of you.
My hands and body frozen under your memory,
My feet stoic like cement, and dare not move.
When the breeze stopped,
I looked up at the moving sky,
I thought of your eyes looking into mine,
And I realized once again,
I didn't hear you at all.
I felt you.
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#listening #googoodolls #letlovein