February 24, 2013

Taking It All Back

"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born."
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry



#Listening #DeathCabForCutie #Equinox @Tiffluv78


There isn't anything better than realizing that you are surrounded by the positive support of people who see who you truly are, and remind you of that every single time you have a wave of insecurity staring you in the face. 

I think about timing and the funny way that when you are walking the correct path there are helpful reminders along the way.  And that when you finally decide that you have had enough, you get the reassurance that you are making the right decisions.  You simply don't take any ones bullshit anymore. 

I see now that maybe it isn't always a lesson for me, but a lesson for someone else and no matter what you put into any relationship, ultimately there is a breaking point.  There is always a breaking point.

Timing is so important, because if it is the wrong timing, then it just isn't going to work.  For whatever reasons the timing is off, it just is.  You can't change it, you can't maneuver around it.   You simply learn to roll with it.  You take the events and you move on.  You simply move on.  You stop dwelling on what didn't work out, or what didn't happen, or who didn't say what they needed or wanted to say.  And if you have chosen to express your feelings and have been responsible for your own thoughts and heart, then you did what you were supposed to do.

Pushing through doubt is uncomfortable.  It is hard.  Love is easy, life is hard.  Two very different worlds.  It's when you learn to combine the two with grace, and understand that until you find the right combination you wait patiently, that you grow. 

#Listening #IWillPossessYourHeart DCFC @Tiffluv78




"Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there's no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic."
— Laini Taylor




Hope is a powerful force.  But combine hope with believing and you have a magical combination.  Hold on to hope, pay attention to timing, and forever be who you were intended to be.  Take the time to listen to who you are, and what you are actually wanting and needing.  Find the right combination, and pay attention, because sometimes we hope and wish for things, and that is okay.  They are given to us, and like the funny and doubting humans we are, we let it go, or worse we destroy it.  Only to wake up and realize what was lost.  Don't let your imperfectly, perfect dream go.  Otherwise you will live the rest of your life in regret.  Pay attention, and don't let your ego or doubts from others control what you want for your life, and teach your children to live the same way.  Ego keeps us from saying and doing the things we need to do in order to receive what was intended to be given.  In the end, when you combine timing, hope, and your steadfast belief in the magic world we live in, you will come up with the most amazing blessings. 

#Listening #DCFC #AllIsFullOfLove @Tiffluv78 Follow and say Hi!  Let me know if you made it over from my blog. 



Welcome to the uncomfortable journey of believing that what you are wanting is going to manifest.  Welcome to the rest of your life when you decide that doubt isn't going to control your happiness.  Welcome to the part where you decide that regret is much more painful than loving and losing.

Welcome the unknown, and you just might find that everything you have put into it, has came back tenfold.  Welcome to simply, YOUR life. 


If it isn't what you want, start changing that now, prepare yourself for the uncomfortable, and prepare yourself for the beauty of spontaneity and relationships that are exactly what you need and want. 


Follow me on Twitter for the more uncensored version of myself.  ;)  @Tiffluv78  Have an incredible week! 

Live, love




February 23, 2013

Three Chihuahuas, A Bottle Of Wine, And A Ride In A Taxi Cab

I had a guest post, emailed to me recently from New Hampshire.  Thought I would share this little, humorous snippet.  *waves to Dwarf Ninja and the Vice Vixen!*  enjoy your time home, Dwarf Ninja, tell the "Vice" I say hello.  You know us writers, always looking for shock value.  Look for many more guest posts from these two incredible friends, and the continuation of this short collection of stories.  I adore the awesome people I meet due to fate and the crossing of paths.  Oceanograhper~out.  ;)




Enjoy, and Happy Weekend! 

A short story in three parts by the Vice Vixen and the Dwarf Ninja

Three Chihuahuas, a bottle of wine, and a ride in a taxi.....




A few weeks ago while playing in the local dog park, on an atypically warm day for winter, we met up at our favorite tree only to be bombarded with the "tail" of the dog who only comes around when it is convenient. This nefarious beast shows up begging for treats but as soon as you offer him sirloin, he turns away for yesterday's old fish. Today he walked away leaving the rancid stench of damp sardines in his wake. My friends and I were compelled to leave the dog park immediately. We stepped to the sidewalk with our wine glasses in one paw and our purses in the other, while the smallest dog, Yoda, chain smoked. Despite her horrible habit, she pulled ahead of us like a tiny dwarf ninja.

As I am the tallest chihuahua, I was elected to hail our cab home. We stood on the sidewalk observing all the cabs with their lights on.

"Hey Wendy, there's plenty of cabs. We can just grab the first one. Why can't you just get one already? I am FREEZING!" Buddy says to me.

Yoda shook her head but wagged her tail with good humor. The cab slowed and we climbed inside. Buddy still shook a little but she was warming up fast. I was disgusted by the dog who had smelled like day old fish and was amazed when Buddy said she knew him. His name was Boo Boo Honey Bear. He often said it was due to his pedigree that he had such an effeminate name. Yoda couldn't hide her surprise when Buddy said she knew him. Yoda had once met Boo Boo Honey Bear at a dog show back East. Yoda was being shown by her owner and Boo Boo was working the door. Though they hadn't been formally introduced, Yoda couldn't help but notice the Chinese Crested that was humping his leg. He looked annoyed but didn't seem to know how to tell the little ugly dog to stop.

Buddy was shocked to hear that Yoda knew him as well. Buddy had met him on a pedigree chat. They had become good friends over time but Boo Boo was too drawn to the stinky day old fish to notice that Buddy was trying to share her sirloin with him.

Wendy, who was happily mated to a lovely pedigreed chihuahua, remarked that Boo Boo simply drove around like a taxi with his light on, waiting to pick up any available fare and that if Buddy wanted to feel a lot better fast, she should simply pretend she was a cab with a fare and turn her light off because cabs with fares never wonder if they are going to be able to take care of themselves. Yoda then reminded Buddy and Wendy about the dog show that was coming up back home on the East Coast. This year, Buddy was a favorite to win the whole thing. Yoda then mentioned that her old mate, a mutt pedigree, was attempting to attend the show. She wanted the girls support for her bid at best in show. Buddy was concerned about the trip because she had recently been diagnosed BDM, but she had faith that her new status at the dog park would correct the issue. With the help of Yoda and Wendy, she knew that she would be OK. The ladies decided on their short rides home that they would make it to the dog show no matter what because bitches gotta stick together..........


To be continued.......




 

Dreams

Something as odd as an intense dream can sometimes spark new material for a writer.  Recently, I experienced this.  Starting something new.  Sharing a small snippet. 

"Be with someone who loves you for who you are, not what they want you to be." Unknown

"Let yourself be silenty drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.  It will not lead you astray."  Rumi

Untitled All poetry, lyrics, book excerpts, and new material belongs to Tiffany Luv Wright Copyright 2012-13

"I dreamed of this.   This city, all of it.  This very moment."  she said ever so softly.  She was standing at the window overlooking the city.  New York City was busy.  It was in constant motion, the heartbeat of the city never slowing or pausing.  It was what she loved.  She loved the eclectic way lives were joined in such a tiny space, with the high rises hiding the very people she adored.  She spent many a day just sitting on the park bench watching the different people. 

She did not know she would meet him, only believing it was a recurring dream that wouldn't go away.  She did not tell him that she dreamed of him, too.  He was in her dreams long before her feet touched the concrete jungle that spread out like the wings of a high flying eagle soaring with unstoppable power.  She breathed in, and felt him behind her. 

He moved her hair off of her shoulder.  She could feel his touch before his fingers grazed her pale skin.  He had been so silent after she spoke that she could almost hear his heart beating fast in the dusty apartment that was being bathed in the afternoon summer sun. 

Standing at the window, in the warm sun, his touch sent a shiver up her spine, and she relaxed.  What would happen now?  He would think she was crazy.  When did this happen?  At what point had the strong friendship turned into a yearning for his body to be next to hers?  She sighed every so slightly.  He knew she was quirky, and pulling an old soul and young heart behind her.  When she had moved here to get away from the middle of the country, she hadn't expected to find him.  He was unlike any other man she had been around. 

He never seemed to doubt her intuition, and he wasn't afraid of what she was. 

But the part about being able to dream up her own paths in life, was not something she had shared.  She thought he might have already known.  The way he looked in to her eyes as if he could see straight through to her soul.  It was as if he felt her coming, it was as if he had seen her before she had even arrived. 

She thought back to the very first moment she saw him.  She had been in New York City for only a few short months.  The winter was quickly moving in.  She was moving too fast down the sidewalk and slipped, dropping all of her belongings she was carrying onto the sidewalk full of fast moving people.  In the Midwest someone would have stopped to help her, but she knew it was different here.  That was why she moved to the big city in the first place.  She wanted to be by herself.  She wanted to be able to survive among the lights.  She was never afraid of the dark, why in her thirties, should she start now?  She had brought her daughter with her, running away from the slow paced and close minded small town. 

He passed her quickly, and when he passed she was drawn to look up at him.  His eyes met hers, and he kept going.  He stopped a few steps away, shaking his head and turning around.  When he bent over to help her pick up the scattered items from her bag, his eyes met hers once again.  His eyes were kind.   

He was handsome.  He was wearing a Yankees ball cap, a huge coat, and jeans.  Obviously he was prepared for the colder weather moving in later that day.  He had dark brown eyes, and a rugged jawline, but he was only about 5'10 with an muscly build.  He had darker skin than she did, and a line beard.  

"People can be such assholes."  he mumbled as he helped her pack up her things.  She smiled at him, a little taken by his rugged good looks. 

"It's okay, I'm tough.  Thank you for helping me pick my shit, I mean stuff, up."  her cheeks flushed as she let the curse word slip out.  She had a habit of always letting them into her sentences.  It was definitely a bad habit. 

He laughed at her and helped her up on the sidewalk. 

They had talked the rest of the walk to her place, and she didn't once get a threatening or uneasy feeling around him.  The friendship had grown over the next few months into something more intense.  Each feeling the need to not let so much as an hour go by without a text or message of some kind.  But it had never crossed the line.

Until now. 

Now standing in the dusty, sunlight, she couldn't figure out when she started to need him so much.  Was it in the Spring?  Was it the late night conversations as she talked him through another failed date or they talked about the meaning of fate and the purpose of their lives?  Or was it that very first initial touch as his fingers grazed hers on the New York sidewalk?  

"Are you afraid of me?"  he asked quietly.  Resting his lips on the dip in her neck and shoulder, while his fingers traced out her arms.  "Are you afraid of the city boy from the East coast?"  his thick city accent bleeding through as he chuckled to himself, thinking back to their conversation about her relationships with the good 'ole country boys from her small town life. 

She smiled and turned to him.  She wasn't.  She had never been afraid of him. 

"No.  I'm not just some simple country girl, you know.  I can take care of myself."  she smiled again. 

His fingers traced her cheek, and then the outline of her lips.  She knew what was going to happen.  It was their first kiss. 

This could be the kiss she had been searching for her entire life.  She exhaled.  Her heart was beating slowly, but starting to increase.  She wasn't nervous, only anxious for his lips to touch hers.  It would either ruin everything, or be the beginning of the end for the both of them.  She looked at him, standing in the dusty light, looking back into her eyes.  He was wearing a white tank top undershirt, and shorts.  His ball cap turned slightly to the side on his head and he had stripped his shoes off at her door.  His tan much darker since it was the middle of the summer.  His lips were perfect.  Over the months she had learned of his Italian and Irish background.  Even though his skin was much darker than hers, she could see the faint freckles on his shoulders.  He had shaved his dark hair at the beginning of the summer, and it suited him. 

He mumbled something in Italian, and it was so quiet she couldn't make it out.  Over the months she had learned to pick up a few words here and there.  He laughed because he knew she was clueless. 

He took her by the hips and dug his fingertips in, pulling her closer to him.  Then moving them to her face.  How could any woman resist his touch?  She thought to herself...if this was they way he handled them?

Slowly he lightly kissed her lips.  He stopped to breath her in, rubbing his nose on the tip of hers.  She moved into him closer.  Wanting him to drink her in. 

He stopped, "Our first kiss, I've wanted to do this for a while, you know?"  his crooked smile teasing her. 

She was breathless but spoke, "And you're not afraid of a simple, country girl?"  she whispered to him. 

He loved her slight accent that she tried so hard to cover up. 

He shook his head and pulled her lips on to his with fury this time. 






February 21, 2013

Entanglements And The Invisible Threads Tied By Fate

 Follow me on Twitter @Tiffluv78 #Listening #JasonWalker and #Stateless today.  #IcedIn #Winter #Storm #Music Pinterest.  Instagram. 

 

"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey




As I sit here, home from the "real" job today (huge ice storm), I was thinking about entanglements, partly because Paul had sent me a "One" lesson.  Partly because I've been thinking about entanglements the last couple of weeks or so, so it was ironic that that was the lesson.   


"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope...I have loved none but you.”
Jane Austen, Persuasion





We make decisions and we have to live with them.  It's the hesitation that comes from our heads that  causes a hiccup in our hearts.  I have always been that crazy hippy soul who made decisions based on her heart, and sometimes that is frowned upon.  I am a very logical and intelligent person as well, but when it comes to my heart and soul, there is no place for logic. There is only a place to feel with everything that I am. 








“It isn't what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.”
Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility





There is a tiny and quiet voice inside us, it pushes us ever so quietly towards the right choices, or the right people.  Over time if you choose to ignore it, it begins to eat away at you.  Slowly and surely you start to see tiny hints along the way, and they are always in the entanglements we find ourselves in with our fellow man that seem to be the most prominent.  The choices we make leading us down certain roads, and the road can be hard, or easy, or just mediocre.  The louder logical voice that speaks up after we have entangled our self with another,  is the voice that often blinds us and causes a knee jerk reaction, often resulting in losing great love and happiness.  And when the two don't agree, well, then I believe that putting everything on pause and truly listening to that tiny, soulful, and heartfelt voice is the one that should have the ultimate deciding power. 

Maybe it will cause pain, at first, maybe not.  Maybe it leads us down a road destined for passion and love.  Maybe it will lead us down a road only to turn around and lose someone close to us, or maybe it is a simple and fantastic road to the true meaning of life, which is happiness.  Happiness from the inside out.  The kind of happiness that you find sitting in the mountains when everything is silent and you can just breath, or the kind of happiness I get when I sink my toes into the sand, close my eyes and just hear, feel, and smell the salty ocean waters.  Or the kind of happiness after you have held your baby for the first time.  I don't know how it is for you, but that tiny voice never seems to be wrong.  Even if the outside forces are difficult to navigate through, the tiny and quiet voice always seems to say, "See, I told you.".  The magical transformations that can come from our entanglements with others and the lives we cross are always connected before the moment arrives.  With invisible and light threads of fate joining one person to another.  It always happens for a reason.  It always happens when we need it to, and sometimes we don't even see the need right away, the lesson manifesting itself later with an "AHA!" moment.  It always, always happens when the timing is just right. 



Trust your inner voice to lead you to the right entanglements.  Trust your first instinct, the first one.  Not the logical one that comes later after you get scared of your own heart and feelings.  Learn to live from the inside out, and I promise you the riches are greater than you can imagine.  They might not all happen at once, but they will happen in the perfect, and yet imperfect timing. 
 
Jane Austen quotes on Goodreads.com 

February 18, 2013

Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Only love lets us see normal things in an extraordinary way.
Unknown


Long busy, busy Monday!  But had an amazing weekend with an incredible group of people.  Enjoy your week, and pick up a copy of  "Finding Stones" from the "Tales From A 20 Year Old" witch series.  Another 4 1/2 star review came in!  When you are finished, the second book in the series is "Casting Gems". 
Oh, and...
To Michelle:красивая бедствия


#Listening Follow @Tiffluv78 #JohnMayer #DreamingWithABrokenHeart








February 17, 2013

The Bucket List and The Places You'll Go

Have you thought about yours? 

I have a few.  I'll add ten of mine here.  Enjoy the video, it's incredible.  Think about what you want to spend the next 10 years doing, and remember we are never guaranteed.  Start today! <3 p="">


Burning Man
Comic-Con (heehee)
A NYE kiss crammed into Times Square
A kiss at the Eiffel Tower
Ride a hot air ballon
Go to Venice and Paris
Learn to snowboard
Go deep sea fishing at least once, way out on one of the boats
Write at least 10 books
Brazil

Published on Jul 30, 2012
Poem by Dr. Seuss, recited, recorded and produced by Burning Man participants.

Oh The Places You'll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is your day,
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains, and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sites!
You'll join the high fliers!
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't.
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to says so
but, sadly, it's true
that Bang-ups
and Hang-ups
can happen to you

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lunch
wuth an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're dark.
A place that could sprain both elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you should go in,should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quaters? Or maybe not quite?
Or go around and back and sneak from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long and wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most usless place

The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where boom bands are playing.

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not.
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, theres a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the whether be foul.
On you will go
though your enemies prowl.
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl.
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though you arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many stray birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with you left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent garanteed!)

KID YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Alenn O'Shea
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... get on your way!

Cape Cods, Oceanography, Portsmouth, and Everything Happens For A Reason. People Collecting At Its Finest.


#Listening #Lifehouse Follow me on Twitter @Tiffluv78.  Pinterest? Which BTW, I found some people pinning The Wooden Girl From Nevada as their "Books I Love" pins.  Happy girl here!  Here is my Pinterest link.  And of course my Facebook fan page link is featured on the column here to the left.  Happy Sunday! 

A select few understand the title for today's blog post.  A few will even chuckle to themselves as I use the "top secret" names for many things in there.  A few of you, just simply, get it. It makes you laugh out loud at the insane way we make it through our days with laughter and talking in complete girl's code so that no one on the face of the planet understands what the hell we are really referring to.  And Rebecca, the light is officially off.  Ha! 




Sometimes life throws decisions at you.  You either make the choice based upon what you want deep down, you take a leap of faith, you throw caution to the wind, and you open a door to what could have been the most incredible experiences you could have imagined.  Sometimes you choose to stay within your comfortable boundaries and continue to make the same decisions based on those comfort zones for the rest of your life. 





How can I know anything about the past or the future, when the light of the Beloved shines only Now. ~Rumi

I don't, or maybe I should say I am not.  I haven't made a decision that was "comfortable" in quite sometime, and it dawned on me that whatever journey I have started was meant for me.  That maybe, if you believe in reincarnation, I chose the path I was supposed to choose this entire time.  That all of my lives past I chose comfort, and I kept repeating the exact same journey each and every single life.

I get it, now.  I get pushing past the fucking uncomfortable times to get to the incredible ones.  I get that making a choice based on my intuition and my heart has led me to discover such an amazing underground group of people that I otherwise wouldn't have in my life.  I get the fact that in order to progress and grow you have to be uncomfortable.  I don't want to die and not know what it was like to be in the lives of so many that I am entangled with in this very moment.  I don't want to die and not experience love at it's purest and rarest form.  I don't want to die, and have only lived a "comfortable" and predictable existence.  I want to have to stand before my judgement and own it, and be who I was intended to be this entire time.  I am unconventional, quirky, and I have a beautiful heart and soul. 

I keep getting thrown into the lives of people who need me, as much as I need them.  I keep getting thrown into the mix with such eclectic groups of mature adults who understand that growing means being uncomfortable.  There isn't anything better than seeing such a strange group of people bond and see each others differences and just breathe off of one another.  From my intuitive and quirky Pisces friends, my stubborn and indecisive Libras, and my bull-headed and logical Taurus'.  It's almost as if I have been writing my own story this entire time, building up to the climax as it moves along.  Living the life of a great book or movie, and there is always a middle.  Yes, Rebecca, that protagonist remark was meant for you.  If there wasn't a middle, then there would be no beginning, nor end.  If all we had was good, then we wouldn't understand the meaning of "good" at all.  We have to experience the tragedy and the pain, in order to appreciate the amazing and wonderful.  We need it to understand getting through the uncomfortable times, and push past that.  That ultimately leads to the happy ending, no matter how tragic the middle. 




Every time I think I am about to drown, someone comes along with an extended hand, and a fresh breath of air.  And every time that happens I KNOW that I am on the right path.  I am walking my own path, with the subtle help from those who I am supposed to encounter along the way.  Each taking my hand and pulling me back up on to my feet, out of the drowning pool of heartbreak or disappointment.  These guardian angels help us to continue to fight to see the good in front of us, and give us that much needed gulp of air. 

I think back to my "friend" from Portsmouth sending me the poem, Reason, Season, Lifetime.  And I get it.   

As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears. ~Rumi


You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? ~Rumi


It's funny how one door opens up another, and so on and so forth.  I recently met a fantastic friend who we are planning a girls trip to the East coast with.  She is from Portsmouth, and it makes me giggle that we were destined to meet.  Somewhere along the way the ties were bound and in a magical way we were lucky enough to meet and already have a bond over a tiny town on the East coast.  The entire story goes back to the connection of invisible threads and fate.  And I am reaffirmed once again of my decisions and my fate. 

It's small hints and tiny nudges along our paths that remind us that we are indeed, walking the path we are supposed to be on.  I love that about life.  I love that I am growing and finding out who I am, and adding to who I was.  I love that I wasn't too scared to embark on the journey. 

December was a beautiful month for me, and it led me to re-discover myself.  January was hard, and emotional.  But I learned something about myself, and what I am searching for.  If you fall on your face along the way, or someone hurts you, know that it isn't because there is something wrong with you.  Maybe they just aren't ready for you.  Maybe their place in your life wasn't the right time.  It's all about timing.  And who is to say that it won't work out another time, another place? And in the end, if you loved and you opened up a part of yourself that had been hidden, then you never lost at all.   You simply figured out, or remembered how to learn to use your heart. 


If you are reading this, and thinking about your own comfort zones...good!  Think long and hard about your past decisions, find the pattern, and break it.  Break free from the rest of the pack and have the nerve to live from your heart and soul, not someone elses.  Think about what you deserve, and the happiness that could await.  Sure, there could be the unknown, or the fear of not being good enough, or the fear of falling on your face.  But if you do, you just pick up a tiny sliver from the broken pieces, and you start all over again.  Build what you intended to build.  And you remember who you are deep inside, and you choose to continue to grow.  The unknown "you", is just as fascinating as the known "you". 

 We never meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our paths for a reason. 




The fear of flying will be overcome as soon as you spread your wings.  The sky awaits, don't be too afraid to embrace your horizon.  Don't fucking back down, look your life in the face, and just be who you are and who you were meant to be.  Don't succomb to the ridiculous stigmas and pressures attached to being the perfect mother, wife, girlfriend, or person.  The world needs the individuals who are just that, their own person. 

God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one. ~Rumi
I wanted to share some special moments, and those of you in the photos, you are loved.  Some are from "The Heart Of A Soldier" shoot, still debating on covers for this new book.  And having a hard time finding the time to add, but slowly it is coming together.  Thank you for helping me take flight!

Live, love!

At night, I open the window and ask the moon to come and press its face against mine. Breathe into me. Close the language-door and open the love-window. The moon won't use the door, only the window. ~Rumi




February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone had a wonderful day.  Mine was quiet, minus those crazy girls I work with.  You know who you are. 

It's almost Friday, and I am so ready for the weekend, and fabulous plans with a group of fabulous people. 

Live, love. 


#Listening #HowieDay #NoLongerWhatYouRequire  I love Howie Day!  Enjoy!  Follow me on Twitter @Tiffluv78 #Favorite song #Collide



Pick up your copy of "The Wooden Girl From Nevada"  by Tiffany Luv Wright.

 
 
 


February 13, 2013

Before It's Too Late



"Before It's Too Late"
I wander through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
and I stood at a distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

And

[Chorus:]
hold on before it's too late
We'll run till we leave this behind
Don't fall just be who you are
It's all that we need in our lives

and the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don't live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

[Chorus]

So live like you mean it
Love 'til you feel it
It's all that we need in our lives
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real 'til it's gone

[Chorus x2]

It's all that we need in our lives
It's all that I need in my life
 
I love the Goo Goo Dolls.  There probably isn't anything better than their live versions, especially the Red Rock ones. 
This song keeps popping up the last couple of weeks.  The lyrics seeming to bury themselves in my heart every time. 
 
December was magical.  Now, weeks later, almost seeming like a dream.  I have a hard time adjusting to the fact that maybe I missed something, somewhere along the way, that what I thought I was feeling and seeing...wasn't in fact real at all.  January was difficult.  And here we sit in February.  I can't believe that it's already Valentine's Day. 
 
When we take the time to try and see the reasons something takes place in our life, maybe we are missing the entire point of living in the present.  Something I forgot, especially lately.  Out of fear of making the same mistakes I've made in the past, I would guess.   
 
I was thinking about vices today, we have so many as a society.  It's different for everyone.  Smoking, drinking, drugs.  Food, exercise, and weight.  I don't have very many vices.  And they have certainly never been terrible. 
 

 
 
It hit me this evening.  LoveLove is my vice.  It has been my vice my entire life.  All aspects, all avenues, all decisions have ultimately led me down the road of searching for epic, love in insane proportions.  I crave it, I need it, but most importantly, I want it.  I want all of it.   I want the friendships and relationships that are the very definition of love.  The pain, the happiness, the ultimate forever that is attached to the stigma of building relationships that last and are on a solid foundation.  And I have achieved that so many times in my life, and yet, I have failed just as many.  Does love cause us to see through "rose colored glasses?"  I don't think so.  I think it forces us to search for the good, for the kind, for the reasons we are here.  It makes us stop and see things in such a different light.  Whether that light is dark, or bright for you.  Whether it forces you to come to the logical terms of a relationship, or brings incredible amounts of fulfillment.  It causes self doubt, and it causes us to jump head first into something that speaks to our soul. 
 
What happens if you throw it away?  Can you get it back?  What happens if you let it slip away, and then you all of a sudden see what you missed and that person has moved on?  What happens if you allow yourself to be lead by your heart and soul?  What happens if you see something in someone, and yet, there isn't anything you can do about it? 
 
What happens when you make a mistake?  What happens if you allow someone in, and they completely rip out your heart?  What happens if they don't?  What happens when you choose to be totally and undeniably vulnerable to the possibility that it is real
 
Isn't that the magic in all of it? 
 
 
 
Maybe.
 
Maybe it's truly the only reason we are here, to learn to live with our hearts.  Only allowing logic to seep in to the parts where it is needed.  Needs come with logic, wants come with the heart. 
 
I live for passion and love.  I live for the epic stories that grace our lives everyday. 
 
 
 
It has taken me a long time, but for the first time, I think the last few months allowed my heart to see exactly what my vice is, and exactly what I, and so many others are searching for. 
 
I wouldn't trade my heart in for nothing, even when it's hard.  I choose to allow love in.  And all that comes along with it. 
 
Enjoy your Valentine's Day.  It isn't about money.  It's about the intimacy and passion that we are lucky enough to experience in our lives. 
 
Count stars, sit on the porch until all hours of the evening, remember each other and count your blessings.  And if you are alone, take time to understand that right now, you probably need that time, and it's okay. 
 

 
 
 





I'm going to share some pictures from "The Heart Of A Soldier" photo shoot over the next few weeks.  I was lucky to have one of my very best friends here with me to help, I love him!  Thank you!
 
Happy Valentine's Day!   

Follow me on Twitter @Tiffluv78 #HappyValentine'sDay



 

February 8, 2013

Live, Love.


#Listening Paolo Nutini #LastRequest Follow me on Twitter @Tiffluv78

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  Rumi

I found this today, and it was incredible to me, because I've been thinking about this very subject all week.  I love this quote, and I hope you do as well. 

Every decision you make—every decision—is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about Who You Are. When you see this, when you understand it, everything changes. You begin to see life in a new way. All events, occurrences, and situations turn into opportunities to do what you came here to do.
- Neale Donald Walsch


I am going to take the weekend off from writing.  I have a huge photo shoot tomorrow, and a lot of housework, Sissies birthday is coming up, and reading to catch up on. 




I hope you all are enjoying the week, and those of you who are on the East coast are safe.  "A", you are in my thoughts and prayers, as well as many more. 

I am so blessed this week to have such an incredible support system in my friends, I just don't know what I would do without some of you.  You are loved, very much. 

Live, love.  xo



Paolo Nutini #Rewind @Tiffluv78 on Twitter

 I just cannot get enough of this, thanks to Danielle for getting me hooked on a fabulous and beautiful new artist.  I will share the lyrics and the link to the video. Amazing!


Pickin up the pieces
of the wreck you went and left
and i'm dealing with dilemmas
in my now so stressful life
and i'm drinking stronger spirits
i made my home here on the floor
and i'm losing all ambition
i'm a ghost

and i'm going all out
and i'm thinking you're just as bad

no sleeping at night
but i'm going from bar to bar
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind

oh remember at 16
oh the crazy drunken night we had
when i kissed you in the hallway
then i took you straight to bed

well 2 years on
and i'm still that same boy i was

no sleeping at night
but i'm going from bar to bar
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind Oh

no sleeping at night
but i'm going from bar to bar
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind

ooh you might blame it on me
but you persisted that we fold
wiped your hands of me
and said you needed more, more, more

and I'm not sleeping at night
but i'm going from bar to bar
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind Oh

and I'm not sleeping at night
but i'm going from bar to bar
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind
why can't we just rewind Oh

wo woah woah woah
wo woah woah woah
wo woah woah woah
wo wo wo wo....

can't we just rewind

 
Paolo Nutini #NoOtherWay
 





February 7, 2013

One Foot In Front Of The Other And Contradictions

 
 
 #Listening #Pink Just Give Me A Reason @Tiffluv78 on Twitter

Love came,
and became like blood in my body.
It rushed through my veins and
encircled my heart.
Everywhere I looked,
I saw one thing.
...
Love's name written
on my limbs,
on my left palm,
on my forehead,
on the back of my neck,
on my right big toe…
Oh, my friend,
all that you see of me
is just a shell,
and the rest belongs to love.
Rumi


I am exhausted.  There isn't any other word for it.  Physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted.  I need to be writing,  I need to be cleaning, I need to be doing nothing at all to recover.  And yet, the last of those isn't an option.  I have nothing, and yet I have everything.  Such a complete contradiction. 

Going through this divorce, separation, whatever anyone wants to call it has drained me.  And yet, it has fueled me.  It's funny that as we get older, and we choose to grow, we accept that in order to see the good, you have to sometimes push and fight your way through what some would consider the "bad".  Or, "the middle of the story". 




Last month sucked.  It sucked beyond measure, for several reasons. The reflection I see, is someone who busted her ass to push out a 50K word romance novel, fought her way through 800 other people to land a great position with a good company, and attempted (note, attempted) to get up smiling every day.  However, I think the last few weeks has been the hardest I've had to fight with patience.  With a few slip ups. 

I was able to spend a lot of time with Michelle, Danielle, Cassie, Kris and Rachel.  I cried, and yelled, and drank more than my half of whiskey on one night, and laughed my way through a hangover.  I learned I am in fact, not afraid of love.  And that is possible to open up again. 

This month is going to fly by, and at least I am going to be moving on to new things.  I am meeting some fabulous new faces, (Hi! Rebecca and Jessica!)   Funny, a new friend actually just moved to our city from New Hampshire, from the very city I wrote about.  That was really neat!  And I am super excited about the spring and summer coming up. 

I think I always get a tiny case of the winter blues, I think this year is so dramatic because of all that is going on. 




I am re-thinking my position, or maybe, my approach to love (never doubting loves existence and power, though).  Learning to take some small baby steps in order to regain my footing.  I find myself being a little more closed than usual, seemingly, and yet the last week I have cried every day.  Going through changes is scary, but I wouldn't want the opposite, at all.  I needed a reality check, and yet I still needed to dream. 

It's funny how life throws such strange curve balls our way.  I am excited to see what the coming weeks have in store, because at this point, I'll be able to hit whatever I want out of the park now that January is finally over.   

Have a great week, not sure when I will be able to update, as my time is super crunched now.  We are up at 4:30 in the morning, and my evenings are spent with dinner, showers, reading, and homework. 

Plan a lovely holiday for Valentine's Day, don't just let this one slide by un-noticed.  Make someone feel special.  Love, laugh, live, and just enjoy the moments as they come and go.  When clarity decides to share her secret, be grateful.  Always, be grateful.  Even when you think everything is going wrong, find something in your day to say "thank you" for. 

And remember, be patient with my typos, 4:30 am is early.  *wink, wink* 
.



 


 
 
 
 
 

.Live, love.

.Live, love.